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Being a caregiver to your loved one with mesothelioma may bring on a myriad of thoughts and feelings and present new challenges to overcome. Most caregivers admit that the holiday season feels different than the ones before…
Read More- Self-Care for Caregivers: Adjusting Holiday Expectations (Asbestos.com).
For more than 70 years, the month of May has been recognized as Mental Health Awareness month. Its goal is to increase awareness of mental health issues in our community and decrease the stigma toward people struggling with mental health issues.
Veterans battling mesothelioma struggle with many emotions on Veterans Day. Here is an article I wrote about some of their struggles.
https://www.asbestos.com/blog/2021/11/10/veterans-day-vets-with-mesothelioma/
We have all been dealing with COVID-19 for about 6 months now. Some of us are understandably fearful of catching the virus due to our own or our loved ones risk factors. Some of us have survived a very scary bout with COVID. Sadly, some of us are grieving the loss of loved ones due to complications of this virus. Some of us are unemployed or underemployed and worried about paying our bills. Some of us are struggling to work while monitoring our young children’s virtual classwork. There are so many more individual stories that my clients have shared with me over the last few months that highlight the emotional, social, financial and physical challenges people face during this pandemic.
We are truly in uncharted territory from a medical perspective and a mental health one, as well. I jokingly tell some of my clients that I must have skipped class the day in graduate school that they discussed how to assess and treat our clients during a pandemic. Just as medical professionals are gathering data about how to best care for patients with COVID, mental health professionals are learning on the job, too.
I am seeing a definite cumulative effect of social isolation, fear of catching the virus and the financial and economic impact this pandemic is having on us all, individually and collectively as a community. A great resource for information about the emotional and mental health effects of living through this pandemic can be found on the Centers for Disease Control website. The CDC doesn’t just provide us with valuable information about medical diseases, they are a great resource for information about mental health issues as well.
The link below has some great information about how to manage stress during this trying time. Stay safe, stay well and be kind to yourself and your loved ones.
With Warm Regards,
Dana Nolan, MS LMHC NCC
Licensed Mental Health Counselor
https://www.cdc.gov/…/daily-li…/managing-stress-anxiety.html
Dana Nolan, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, was recently quoted in an article, by US NEWS & World Report about cancer patients being at a higher risk of suicide, anxiety, depression and PTSD than the rest of the population.
Some highlights from the article are below, the full article can be viewed HERE:
“Receiving a cancer diagnosis is hard, and a recent study found many cancer patients consider suicide as they struggle with their condition. . .”
“The study, which was published Jan. 7 in the American Cancer Society’s journal Cancer, is the largest to evaluate trends in suicide risk after a cancer diagnosis. Researchers found the risk of suicide is 2.5 times higher for cancer patients within a year of diagnosis compared with the general population. . .”
. . .The National Cancer Institute shows that approximately 25 percent of cancer survivors experience symptoms of depression and up to 45 percent experience anxiety. About 20 percent experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.
“Mental health professionals recommend reaching out and offering support to those newly diagnosed with cancer. . .”
“Social support for cancer patients – from partners, peers, support programs or professionals in a one-on-one setting – has an important role in suicide prevention . . .”
“Dana Nolan, a licensed mental health counselor with more than 15 years of experience counseling cancer patients, said patients should be “allowed to talk about any concerns and feelings they may have about their cancer and their future.” . . .”
“… “Some people with cancer say they feel pressured to only talk with loved ones about positive outcomes such as a remission or a cure,” Nolan said. . . .”
” . . . “If you suspect that your loved one is thinking about or planning a suicide attempt, do not be afraid to directly and specifically ask, ‘Are you thinking about killing yourself?'” Nolan said. “It is a myth that asking someone about suicide will increase the risk of them doing it or that it puts the idea of suicide in their head.” . . .”
You can read the entire article written by, Karen Selby by clicking here….
Making the Resolution
The new year is a time of reflection on the past and looking forward to the future. It has become commonplace to resolve to make changes in the coming year so that we are somehow a better person (thinner, happier, healthier, richer….etc.) Many times these resolutions are related to the “shoulds” that we have bouncing around in our heads. “I should be able to fit into a size 6 jeans.” “I should stop smoking.” “I should spend less money on coffee at Starbucks.” “I should have more fun.” “I should go to church more.” “I should stop texting while I drive.”
As a therapist, I notice “shoulds” when I hear my clients talk about their perceived failings or their goals. My philosophy is not that all “shoulds” need to be accepted as truth, but that we need to question their validity and ask if those shoulds are in line with our values as a person. Sadly, sometimes we accept the “shoulds” that we hear from others (or in the media) about how we should act or what kind of person we should be.
Before you jump on the band wagon on making New Year’s resolutions, stop for a minute and think about what is important to you and if anything is missing in your life that would make you feel happier. Are you missing out on time with family and friends? Are you tired of feeling out of breath easily and not having energy to have fun? Do you wish you could find time for a hobby? Do you wish that your sex life was more satisfying? The answer to these questions of self-reflection should guide you towards the changes you may want to make.
Keeping the Resolution
Once you have figured out what change you want to make, then the challenge can be to take the steps to make it happen. You may have noticed that I just mentioned “change” and not “changes” to make. In order to increase our chances of being successful, it is best to try to one change on thing at a time. We are creatures of habit and we need to focus on changing one habit at a time. When we have had several months of establishing a new habit, then we are ready to add in another lifestyle change.
Small, incremental steps towards an attainable goal is vital. Sudden, sweeping changes towards an unrealistic goal just don’t work. Telling yourself that you are going to get up at 5 a.m. every day and go to the gym is just not realistic. It is better to start with setting a goal of exercising 2-3 days per week. If you are able to achieve that goal, then add an extra day or more time per workout. Don’t tell yourself that you are giving up your daily Starbucks habit all together, but tell yourself that you will treat yourself 1-2 times per week.
Don’t expect perfection or berate yourself if you slip up. Change is hard and there will be times that old thought patterns or behavioral habits will trip you up. Don’t throw in the towel. If your goal was to do one fun thing each weekend and you have a weekend where it just isn’t possible, don’t let the negative self-talk take over. Just resolve to plan something fun next weekend and move on.
Happy New Year to all my friends, family, clients and colleagues. !
Dana Nolan, MS LMHC
Licensed Mental Health Counselor
People are talking a lot about sexual harassment these days after it has been revealed that several rich, powerful men have been accused of using their position of power or authority to abuse or harassment many, many women AND men. There is a current trend on social media to post “#Metoo” if you have personal experience with sexual harassment or abuse to show just how wide spread this type of crime is.
“Why didn’t she report it?”
“Why didn’t they fight back?”
“She shouldn’t have put herself in that situation!”
These are all questions or comments that have been heard when the topic of sexual harassment or sexual abuse comes up. It is called “victim blaming” and sadly it’s is a phenomenon that has been around for centuries. Some gender and cultural stereotypes have supported the idea that “boys will be boys” and that it is human nature for men to pursue women aggressively in any setting for their sexual fulfillment.
Blaming the person accusing someone of sexual harassment or assault is a common response after being accused of this type of activity. Shifting the focus of blame from the abuser to the victim is a classic defense and it is unfortunate that many abusers have successfully used this defense to save their job or avoid punishment. The more victims see that those accused of sexual misconduct avoid serious consequences, the more helpless they feel that anyone will believe them when they report it.
As a therapist, I have worked with far too many people who were harassed, assaulted or raped and didn’t report the incident to authorities for fear that they wouldn’t be believed or would be blamed for being assaulted. Many times abusers threaten their victims with being fired, being slandered, being physically abused or worse if they report the abuse to others. Those who perpetrate sexual abuse are skilled at targeting victims that they believe can be overpowered by threats.
What can you do to support victims of sexual harassment or abuse?
*Believe them! Many victims have had their complaints ignored or minimized, so they come to accept that sexual misconduct is normal and accepted behavior. If someone tells you that they have been sexually harassed or assaulted, let them know that you believe them and that it is NOT okay.
*Don’t be complicit when observing others making inappropriate sexual comments or using their strength or power to harass someone. Silence equals agreement.
*Be proactive with children and teens in your life and tell them that NO ONE should ever be permitted to make inappropriate sexual comments about you or touch you without your permission.
*Refrain from making offhand comments about someone “asking for it” because of the way they are dressing or behaving.
*Offer to support the victim in reporting the abuse to the proper authorities and tell them that you will stand by them through the process of holding the abuser accountable.
When perpetrators of sexual abuse think that no one will believe their victims, they will continue to continue to harass and assault. So, anything that we can do let victims know that they will be believed and supported will begin let would-be abusers know that they won’t get away with it.